I Survived a Bathroom Remodel (And All I Got Was This Blog Post)

Once upon a time, in a house far too small for this kind of drama, I decided to remodel the bathroom.

Why? Because I enjoy chaos. And because the original bathroom had the aesthetic of a gas station from 1973. There was linoleum that could double as a Slip ‘n Slide, a toilet that screamed like a banshee every time it flushed, and a medicine cabinet that could only open if the door was shut and the moon was in retrograde.

Step 1: The Demolition Begins

I thought demolition would be fun. I pictured myself wielding a sledgehammer like a home improvement warrior.

Reality: I removed one tile and unleashed a cloud of dust so dense I may have seen the future. It’s dusty. And also, I will probably need therapy.

Fun fact: Behind the wall? Not insulation. Just old newspapers from 1982 and what I can only describe as a haunted mouse hotel.

Step 2: The Budget Collapses Like My Sanity

My contractor asked what my budget was. I said, “What’s the cheapest way to make it look like I have my life together?”

He laughed. I cried. We compromised.

Apparently, “budget-friendly” means “you can have tile OR a toilet, not both.” I chose tile. Who needs functioning plumbing when your shower looks like a Pinterest board?

Step 3: Design Choices and the Rise of Overconfidence

I spent 14 hours picking the perfect shade of white paint. (Did you know there are 800 shades of white? Why? Who asked for this?)

I also picked out a trendy brass faucet because it “adds warmth.” It also adds fingerprints, water spots, and regret.

Step 4: Unexpected Delays

The vanity I ordered in June arrived in October. It came with a note: “Sorry for the delay. Mercury was in retrograde.”

My plumber disappeared for a week and returned with a tan. He said he was “working on another job.” In the Bahamas?

Step 5: It’s Done. Kind of. Maybe.

Finally, the bathroom is finished.

  • The tiles are level-ish.

  • The toilet flushes like a polite whisper instead of a jet engine.

  • There’s a plant that will definitely be dead in a week.

  • I’ve taken 12 showers just to enjoy the water pressure that no longer feels like being spit on by an angry llama.

Would I do it again? No.
Will I do it again? Probably.
Because I still have a kitchen. And I haven’t learned my lesson.

Folkers Kitchen and Bath can reduce the amount of anxiety and stress.  We have an interior designer on staff to help with which white to choose, for example.  We have the knowledge and expertise to make the remodeling process more streamlined and less stressful.  We offer free estimates.  You just have to call us.